welcome to Orlando!

so last night i arrive in Orlando! :)
ha.. but the journey to get here was so flipping tiring.
well friday morning as you all may know i had to go to my Grandad's funeral, well that was an experience, we had to go to my grandma's to get in the funeral cars, and as soon as i walked into her house and saw the flowers which read ; 'Grandad' & 'Dad' i burst into tears, then when the cars arrived i saw the coffin, and as you may have guessed i was set off again; i couldn't believe how small the coffin was. We arrived at the church andbecause i was sat in the funeral car i was like at the front of the church D: and i just kept looking at the coffin and i was in histerics i was real bad, my mum was telling me i needed to calm down because i couldn't breathe properly, i was hoping to be able to read a poem at the funeral, but that plan failed i couldn't say one word never min a whole flipping poem. i was pretty annoyed that day because a certain people came who in my opinion shouldn't of been there, my grandad wouldn't of wanted them there, i really wanted to say something to her, i was so annoyed. but after the church people headed of to the crem, but i didn't want to go; i didn't want to put myself through that, so i went to my other grandma's whilst everyone else continued on to the crem. They had a little 'party' i don't really know what to call it after it all, so i went and met some people ive never seen in my life; family i never knew, so that was good :)
OHHH also that morning my mum picked a white feather off of my shoulder, and for all who didn't know thats supposed to mean you have a gardian angel, i found it amazing that the day of the funeral we found that; when i was on holiay in turkey we also found a white feather on my shoulder so i belive my grandad & nana are my gardian angel's and that makes me feel great to be honest.
HA! so anyway.. after that we returned home to get ready and then went on our first train for like three hours, and there was an annoying irish girl then we had to go on a subway which was horrible, hot, busy urgh.. then we had to get on a final train to the airport .. BUT before we got on the final train there was this dude who kept looking at me and then we both caught each others eyes and he smiled :') baha.. ill never see him again -.-
We stayed in a hotel over night then got our plane saturday afternoon, i was annoyed because on most VIRGIN planes you get a console and you can play games; but this one you didn't ;/ but i did watch Eclipse which ive wanted to see for ages, and is an amazing film, GOSH Edward/Robert is soooooo good looking :')
but yeh.. we arrived last night, got to the hotel, went to walmart, went to get some tea and chilli's were i had a childrens macaroni cheese which was yummy, but i didn't eat much because i wasn't hungry (:
We have been up since 4:15 lmao.. yeh we couldn't sleep it's now like 7:30am , we can't decide wether we are going to sea world or Universal! well excited (:
ahh and i'm wearing my playsuit today, and i bought some new shades at walgreens, which are red an uber awesome, i'm also sat in my grandads aran cardigan because i'm bloody cold.
ha.. yeh so ive found out i will be able to blog this holiday because we have wireless in the hotel room! & i can take some uber awesome pics because i have my grandads camera! AHHH! this is going to be one great holiday and like my friend said i deserve it after whats just happened.
so yeh.. bye for now :)
Nicole xox

schools over for two weeks!

SOOOOOO HAPPY!
 so i've finished school for two weeks, and that makes me so happy you wouldn't belive.
but i'm kinda dreading tommorow, it's going to be so busy and hectic so heres the plan at the moment!
6am- get up, get in the shower, get dressed and all that jaz.
7:45am- leave the house for my grandma's.
8:10am- get in the funeral car and drive to the church.do the whole ceremony stuff, then go to the crem, then go to my aunties for coffee.
not sure of the time- go home get changed into travelling clothes an head of to my grandma's.
12:15- mini bus is coming to pick us all up to take us to the train station, hopefully! (if we aren't ready for the mini bus, then we just have to go a little later an catch a different train)
1:09pm- train to London.. which i'm not going to like.
3:30pm ish- we will be in London and then we have to get on some tubes and some more trains.. -.-
so thats all thats planned, when we get to the airport we get to check in our bags the night before because we're spesh' nahh we're not it's twillight check in. Then tommorow night i'm staying in a hotel, and i fly on saturday!

so at the moment i'm sat with my doggys, because it's the last time i'm going to see them for two weeks, ill cry when we have to take them to my grandads i HATE leaving them, but i have to, we're taking them later tonight because tommorow is going to be so bloody busy. i love my puppy dogs..
so this may be the last time you hear of me in two weeks (hurray!)
ha.. imma' try blog sometimes when i'm in FLORIDA but i'm not postive that i'll have time, although i will have to do homework whilst i'm there because ive been given so much!
but yeh..
goodbye for now (:
Nicole xox

new clothes (:

i did it!
i eventually took pictures of nearly every item i pinched from my grandads closet, i missed out two jumpers, and i'm sorry for that x) but i managed to take a picture of me in my new shorts, i'd like to apologise for the quality of the images, how fat i look in all of the images and how gormless i look in some of the images, so now ive told you all that enjoy the images! ^^ :

ha so there you go, gosh i do look awful, but i love the clothes :)
love you all!

Nicole xox

life goes on...

Hey,
so i'm sorry about the posts lately all depressing and stuff but my grandad is my grandadd, and i'm upset that he's gone :(
but i promise that the next blogs will be nicer to read!
so when i get some time i'm going to do a post of all of the lovely clothes i got from my grandads closet, there is a lot and it'll take a bit of time so i'll try to get it done before friday when i go on my holidays!
ha yeh i can't believe it i'm going to the USA saturday! i say my holiday starts on friday though because thats the day i go to London, i think i need this holiday to get over the horrible news i had the last week. I'm so damn excited, but i have to go to my grandads funeral friday morning :( which is horrible, but i wasn't going on holiday without saying my final goodbye.
so yeh.. ill try to get the photo's taken, and upload them asap :)
love you all!
Nicole xox
p.s Thankyou to Kenzie Faith for the comment on my last post it's nice to know, someone has been through what i'm going through xx

RIP GRANDAD!

love you so much! <3

one sad day..

waring!: this blog may be depressing.
so yesturday, i got in the car from revision and my dad straight away said 'Nicole we have ad some really bad news today,"
i knew at that point something had happened to my grandad, ive been having funny feelings over the last couple of days, so i just knew..
'Your Grandad Eddie Died this morning,'
'Don't lie, it's not funny dad!'
'Nicole i'm not lieing look at your sister!'
i hadn't noticed my sister until then and her eyes were red and swolen, and i heard my mum sobbing away, all i could do was cry, and feel so guilty.
'i'm sorry mum!'
i don't think ive ever cried so much, he was my great grandad and was 80, i haven't seen him in nearly two months, because we just haven't had anytime, and then he passes away, and i felt so bad, there is nothing i can do to change things though. He is my mums grandad and she felt as guilty as me, it's a horrible thing to see your mum an dad crying, it's horrible you don't know what to do. My dad took us to my grandma's (his mum) and she hugged me and tried to reassure me, he wanted to go, he was tired, he wasn't allowed to smoke anymore, and he is with my nana, my grandma had a tear in her eye.. it was so horrible, i couldn't believe what was happening to be honest.
My grandad has been ill for some time, he has really bad lungs, and for the last two months he has been on oxygen, he has been smoking since he was nine years old, and he was told he had to stop smoking because he had to be on oxygen, everyone felt bad taking this away from him, he lost my nana in 2001 and has missed her all that time, he has been lonley, and he wanted to go.
he was found on his bathroom floor by his carers, he lives in a flat were he gets carers come four times a day, and they found him at 8:30 yesturday morning, and rang 999 to get paramedics to try bring him back this failed, the police had to come, because it was a sudden death, and nobody knew exactly what had happened, it still isn't clear. I was at school the whole day, and i wasn't told anything. i still can't believe it, it hasn't quite sunk in.
Anyway,after leaving my dads mum, we went to my mums, mum, he was her dad, all i could say was: 'i'm so sorry grandma!' we both at crying in each others arms for ages! then we got talking, and we were all getting upset..
today:
i was going to go to school, to keep my mind off the situation, but all morning i kept breaking down, there was no way i couldn't face school, so i stayed off and we were out and about all day, first the doctors, then went for a coffee, were i sat the whole time crying my eyes out, and then a member of the family walked in and things just got worse, i was crying real bad, then we went to my grandads flat because we had to start clearing it out, and i took a load of his clothes and a watch, all stuff i love, i'm wearing his cardigan right now, i really like it! but i saw were they found him, and my mum was explaining the positioning of him, and i was set off again, gosh .. my eyes are hurting so bad, i haven't wore any make-up today and i wont all weekend because i know for a fact no matter how hard i try i will keep breaking down. So anyways after that i started to feel a little better, it was weird though when we were in his flat i mean, i'm so used to walking in and to him being sat in his chair and saying 'hello there pet' and then moaning about the fact that i wear make-up. i miss him a whole lot. So anyways, i was feeling better and then my mum decided that we should go help my grandma with the funeal arrangements, so we did. I cried the whole time he was there, as soon as he brought out the little booklet which had coffins and caskets in, i was off, i really couldn't believe that this was happening, so the man left after it all, and said he would call back later with a date of the funeral, we stayed at my grandmas for ages just talking about him, and then we got the call saying the earliest we could have the funeral was friday; we go on holiday on friday, we get a train at 1! ; the funeral service at the church will be at 8:30 and then the cremetoriam at 9:30 and thats it, so were lucky in that respect, but i want to write a poem, to  say sorry for not being there with him for the last two months.
i don't know if i will ever get over this, he was an amazing man, and he'll be missed so much by everyone, no one had anything bad to say about this man he was always there.
i love you grandad.
RIP!
so sorry that i wasn't there the last two months.
Nicole xox

RIP Edward Mcaloon :'(

Can't believe ive lost my great grandad :/ rip, you were the best grandad ever, at least you'll be happy with nana! Love you soo much!

Nicole xox